Twiddling My Thumbs

What the hell am I going to do all day?   Well, apparently, I have so much free time these days that I should be able to do anything.  Today is the day I am finally bored.  I will find something to do with myself, cleaning, going to the library, maybe do a little grocery shopping, whatever.  I completed my REQUIRED job search already for the week, and am still running down a couple of leads for work, but I will be done with that by noon, certainly.  

Without an art studio for the first time in 15 years, I am going out of my fucking gourd!  I NEVER had to worry about being bored before.  I could ALWAYS go and get some painting done.  Now, I'm surrogating it with doing some writing, and so forth, but sitting in one place for so long makes me nervous, and start to hate myself.  What the hell is wrong with me?  I guess I've become one of those freaky people that when they aren't working on some kind of project, they crawl out of their skin.  When did I turn into that guy?  Goofing off used to be an art form for me...

In reality, I just want the sick feeling in my innards go away.  That sick feeling comes from watching my bank account shrink and new bills come in the mail everyday.  That sick feeling comes from realizing that "if I don't get some work soon, I'm gonna have to knock over a liquor store..."  Then, of course, I'll end up going to jail and getting ass-raped by somebody I'm not even attracted to.

Good God, I'm even considering making a list, just so I don't end up on Facebook for hours today.  The FB is VERY dangerous.  I'm having to really schedule it now in ten minute blocks three times a day because I really will spend all day on it.  It's terrible.

Okay, here I go...   Ready?  MOTIVATE!!!!!