FUCKING-FUCK!!!!

What the fuck.

I thought I had NAILED a job yesterday.  Today, I got an email telling me that they were going with somebody else, but it was down to just me and another guy.   They chose him because he had more "e-commerce" experience than me.  God dammit.

What the hell do I have to do to get a fucking job?   Who do I have to blow?

I've been looking for MONTHS now, and I'm so fucking discouraged that I'm damn near suicidal over it.   AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   

I've been looked over for THREE positions now that I've had GREAT interviews for.  One (Trader Joe's) actually blew me off without even an email.   AFTER they told me that I was hired, they just kind of blew me off.   Wouldn't return my calls and acted like they didn't know who I was.  WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!

I mean, if I can't even get a job at a GODDAMN grocery store, what the hell am I even doing walking around.  They hire FUCKING RETARDED PEOPLE!!!!!   You mean to tell  me that six years of college prepared me for a long life of UNEMPLOYMENT???

And, to top it all off, I keep getting told that I'm fucking OVERQUALIFIED?????

Jeezus!!  It's like the entire planet has gone nuts.   How on earth can ANYBODY find work?  I walk around during the day and see soooooooo many people who are already gainfully employed who are COMPLETE IDIOTS!!!  Maybe I should act like an idiot.  Dumb-down my resume.  Make it look like I'm just some fucking moron who is willing to be fucked in the ass every day by his employer, and has no initiative to move up in the corporation.   Become a cog.  

Christ, I just want to fucking cry all day and beat my head in with a hammer.  I feel so fucking worthless and stupid.  Why do I even continue breathing?   I am a waste of perfectly good air.   I'm not kidding, I'd be a better provider for my wife if I were dead.  At least then she could live off the life insurance for awhile....   Best not to start thinking that way, lest I be tempted to accidently crash my car into an oncoming truck.....

FUCK!!!   

Cukoo

My buddy told me that I can't be crazy

Because I don't answer the voices

That I hear

I think he's the one who's nuts

There's no voices in my head

That aren't my own

The only time I feel like I've truly 

Lost it

Is when I start laughing

And can't stop

And I get scared

That I might be wrong

About anything

Everything

And every thing else

Seems too hard

Like I can't even think anymore

Or don't want to

Screw the voices

Shut me up

Martians

If you think we're alone here

Out in space, spinning

You'd be wrong

Like so many others over time

Have been convinced of their facts

Only to be proven wrong

By history and their children

Our global concerns will be forgotten

When the saucers land

And the doors open

And the guns are drawn

Science, history, and common sense

All tell us that only the strong survive

So

I am certain that the little green men

When they show up (and they will)

Are going to tell us who's boss

And who's the new employee

Because 

You don't travel through that kind of distance

Without a helluva lot more knowledge

Than we have

And you don't go on that kind of journey

Without some big fucking guns

Any space cowboy will tell you that

So, don't be surprised 

When Marines get vaporized

And the power grid goes down

When The Bomb has no use

When the sky is on fire

When you pee in your pants 

At the sight of them

All hail Caesar 2.0

Fuck That Stupid Groundhog

I'd like to think I'm like Saint Francis

Preaching to birds

Making them witness the importance of 

Everything and it's inherent 

Emptiness

Making the birds understand

Why they needed what he was selling

Even though they had no money to buy

What a pro

The problem is

Birds don't think that way

They live in the moment unless

They're trying to get laid

Or protect their young

Saint Francis knew that

He kept selling them up

Even though they had no meaning

For god or his son

Besides

He made pretty noises

By moving his mouth

And sometimes kept food in his hand

Winter will still be here 

For another six weeks

Even if Phil sees his shadow

Or is it the other way round?

I know what cold feels like

It goes inside you and creeps

Making living seem bitter and stale

Making birds 

Forget to be saved

Restrained

Maybe the most important thing
To keep in mind

is that I'm a little bit nuts

Even though I am convinced
I got my shit together
I just might break out in crazy

At any moment

It's like a rash, but instead of bumps
You get put in a room
That smells like peppermint and urine

Until somebody decides
It's okay to let you out
and you won't bite anyone

Or care too much
About everything

Again

It's like a stain

Even after you wash it -  

It's there

But it's not the same

Maybe it's the rain

Either way, the planets have aligned 

Or whatever
To keep me sane

Maybe It's the pain

Though, I've never been too good 

At figuring out why
I'm always to blame

Maybe I shouldn't complain

But, dammit, it's like you cant get ahead
Because everything stays the same

Maybe I'll give up again.