Puppy Pimps

My dog is sick.

Fortunately, He doesn't get sick ever, so it's not something I usually worry about, and if he does get sick, usually I know what to do, and don't go to the vet.   In fact, I don't get shots for him, either.  Before you get all bitchy about that, I don't kennel him, I don't let him get in contact with sick dogs, and there hasn't been a case of rabies in a domestic animal in this state since 1953.  My dog is 14 and a half years old, and has been "sick" only two(?) times.  So, I'm doing something right.  

And, he's in good shape now.  He's just old.  

So, today, I notice that he has a HUGE hot spot on the base of his tail.  I haven't seen him chewing on it, though he's sometimes smarter than me, so maybe he's doing it secretly.  Either way, I decided to give him a good check-over. Sometimes, when his winter under-coat is coming in, he'll chew on himself.  When I looked in his mouth, I noticed (again) a bad tooth he has right in the front of his mouth.  I have seen this before, but it wasn't wiggly, or I would have pulled it myself (I'm a farm-boy, I can do this stuff.  It's not hard).  

Anyway, I took a peek at the bad tooth again, and noticed a swollen abscess behind the tooth.  It's infected, and can potentially kill said doggy.  

So, I called the vet, as I don't really want to deal with the abscess myself, and am willing to pay a couple of hundred dollars to have vet take care of it.

Well, after talking with SEVERAL airhead receptionists at a variety of vets in this damn town, it looks like the act of pulling one TINY EASY-TO-REACH tooth will (after everything) end up costing me around $700.  

!!! Yeah, I know!!!!

The problem arises out of the vets (all of them) wanting to put doggy "under" for the procedure.  As I said before, doggy is old, and his risk of DYING while having his tooth pulled is greater than it is for younger dogs.

So, I don't want him to be put under.  IT MAY KILL HIM.  REALLY!

JESUS!  You would have thought I said I beat my dog to these people.  They were all totally snotty to me, and tried to dump me off the phone as soon as I mentioned it.

Now, maybe it's because the rural agricultural area I come from.  Maybe it's just common sense.  Or, hear me out, it's because vets are a racket.

I know these guys want to help animals, and go to school and all that shit, but I remember pulling teeth on animals back home at the vet for under $50.  You told the "country vet" you needed a tooth pulled on the dog, and the vet took out a pair of clean pliers and grabbed the tooth and yanked it before the dog knew what was going on.  Dog yelps, tooth hole bleeds, dog is happy 30 seconds later when it gets a soft treat.  You give doggy some antibiotics for a week, and everyone is happy.  

Instead, I have to make an appt. to have a "checkup" and a complete oral exam.  Which means I pay for doctor time, labs of his kidneys and heart, and an office visit.  Then, I schedule a "surgery day" for doggy, drive back for the appt., pay for ANOTHER office visit, pay for MANDATORY knock-out of dog, pay for "oral surgery" and then pay for drugs for doggy.  

What the fuck?

Just pull the damn tooth and gimme some pills.   I don't care if my dog feels the sharp and painful tug of his tooth getting ripped out.  His memory doesn't last that long and he's not going to blame me.  In the long run, he'll be happier because the pain from his mouth isn't there anymore, and he won't give a flying doggie-fuck who did it or how.

Before you get all bitchy about this, and all "well, if you love your dog, there are responsibilities, and you have to....."

Yadda yadda fuck you.

Here's the racket:  I also called a human dentist today and told them I had an abscessed tooth I needed pulled.

Local anesthetic, tooth pulled the same visit, antibiotics, and even Valium = $600 cash.

Yep, that's right.  It is less to have an abscessed tooth pulled from a human than my dog.  And less time.  And I don't need to be put under.  

What the fuck?

Oh, and before I forget to mention it, Sarah Palin is a bitchy redneck ignorant cunt who should be feared for the fascist tool she is.   Just thought I'd mention that.